Have you ever wondered how it is that God talks to you. Maybe I am wrong but to me it is subtle signs and things that suddenly make you think about things that you normally just wouldn't be thinking about. I think God leads you somewhere and when you get there something there talks to you. To me that is God talking. Am I wrong? Maybe. But it's how I like to believe He works through us.So here's what happened this mornings. Since I couldn't sleep I started surfing the web. My usual habit when sleep evades me. This morning I started at Craigslist looking for those nice oak end tables and coffee table that seem to be just out of my reach. Seems every time I find one that works they are already gone. Not a problem I will prevail eventually and the perfect set will show up one day. I just can't seem to tear myself away from the 1980-1990's decorating obsession with oak furniture. Oh well, guess I will just date myself with my furnishings! LOL.
Next I left feedback for my ebay purchases. Most have safely arrived and in great condition, just like promised. One doesn't seem to want to show up. Of course it's a Christmas gift so I am panicking even though I still have almost two weeks. After my ebay visit I do a little more surfing of the web and a lot more pity partying. Oh, woe is me. I don't feel good, Bill and I didn't get any time alone this weekend to reconnect....blah, blah, blah, blah. You've heard it all before. So I head over to our local newspaper's website just to check out what's happening in our little town. That's when reality clicks.
The front page headline is about a young man who is going to do a run across the country to bring awareness to Batten's Disease. Here's the link to the story Batten's Disease just click and it will take you there. This story really hit home with me and here's why. The family that this young man is running for is very close to me. One of the children, now young adult, afflicted with this devastating and always fatal disease is my daughter's best friend. She has been for nearly 10 years. We have watched as my daughter's best friend has gone from a fun loving girl to a now blind, and almost non communicative young woman. We have also watched as this disease has taken her younger sisters sight and her ability to control a lot of her emotions. It is a horrible disease and usually I am right there every year for this family, helping, cheering them on, doing what I can for them. However, since I have gotten worse with my illness I have stopped helping them. Maybe I can't do as much for them as I use to but I can still do something. I just choose not to. I am happier in my little house avoiding all my friends as I feel more and more sorry for myself and this disease that has taken my ability to live a full and thriving life. How selfish is that! I am not going to die, I am not going blind or losing two of my children. I simply can't stand up or sit up like I use to be able to do. Yes, I have bad days but nothing like compared to that of this family. And now I find that a 26 year old is setting aside almost four months of his life to bring attention to this disease for this family who I recently have done nothing for. Talk about a rude awakening!!!!
Feeling bad about how I have been ignoring this incredible family I read on, hoping to find some good in my visit to our local paper. The next article I read is about a 26 year old who just had his last wish granted by a local hospice. Here's the article on his fight. Another article about someone who will probably not see another Christmas after this one. Hmm, I am begining to see a pattern here. Perhaps it's a wake up call to poor little old me who thinks life is soooo difficult right now. Yeah, I would have to say definitely a wake up call. I guess the good news I was looking for wasn't actually written in the paper. It was written between the lines of the articles that I read. The article I should have been reading would be titled, It's the most WONDERFUL time of the year. It would be about all the things we have to be thankful for this holiday season. It would let us know that even though things look bad in our lives whether it be our health, the economy, finances, romances, family trouble, whatever; that you can't stop and hide from it. You need to keep smiling and you need to keep giving. I think when you let something take you away from the people or things that are important in your life then that thing has won and you have lost. And I have decided one very important thing this morning. I am no longer going to let this thing win!!!! I am too valuable of a person, of a wife, of a mother and of a friend to let one health issue take me away from all that is important to me. I need to remember that it can always be much worse and to sit around and feel sorry for myself is NOT the answer at Christmas time or anytime.
I need to be out there doing what makes me feel good and that is helping others. Somewhere along the way I forgot that. Somewhere along the way it became all about me and my struggles. That is not what life should be about. Life is about giving back for all the blessings we do have, even if there are obstacles in the way. So today I am going to get out of bed, do what needs to be done. And then I am going to see my friends who have been ignored for so long. I will bring them tidings of good cheer and maybe a Christmas goose or two. Well maybe just some Starbucks coffee but you get the idea. So I will be Scrooge no more, Bah Humbug will not be heard in this house again and I will keep Christmas in my heart all year long. I hope you all will too!
