In the Begining.......

I tell you the truth,

anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child

will never enter it.

Luke 18:17

The above passage has always been dear to me. I taught Sunday school for five years it was during these years that I felt closest to God. I taught second grade and what an incredible age that is. My students were like little sponges eager to absorb the word of God. There was no doubt in them. All that they learned was readily accepted. Ahh to have the faith of a child. No questions, no doubts, just to believe simply because it is told to you. Every Sunday their faces would light up as they learned more and more about the word of God. It is something I will never forget and it is something I will always wish I had experienced as a child.

Unfortunately there wasn't a lot said about God in my home growing up. My sister and I knew about God, we were supposively Catholics but church wasn't something my parents attended. Yes we had crucifixes and we even said The Lord's Prayer every evening right before bed but I knew nothing of this God or of His church. However, I am the lucky one, as I grew older I met several friends whose belief in God was very important in their lives and slowly I began to learn from them about faith. Unfortunately my sister did just the opposite and never did find a belief in God.

I attended several different churches during my junior high years. Some I enjoyed, some were just way too out there for me. I just couldn't seem to find where I belonged. Finally my neighbor saw that I was looking to find my place in God's world and asked me to attend our local Catholic church with her. Something just clicked. I liked the traditions that were associated with this religion. I found that I could relate more to a priest in robes then to a pastor in a business suit. I think a lot of it had to do with my family being Catholic for so many generations but I felt as if I belonged there so it is there that I stayed for many years.

It has been years since I have been to church, I'm not even sure how long, probably about 15 years. Too many negatives and hurt feelings have kept me from returning to the Catholic church. I believe worshiping God should be a joyous occasion not one filled with guilt. It is funny I watch the "Catholics Come Home" commercials and I can easily understand why it is the Catholic church is struggling. If you click on the Catholics Come Home link above you can watch what the Catholic church believes is an invitation back, however all I see when I watch it is a lot of guilt being thrust down upon Catholics. Who wants to live with that kind of guilt? Not me and it's definitely not something I can see myself returning to.

So where does this leave me? Several people have told me that I am not a Christian because I do not attend church. Is that true or is our faith what we make of it? I believe that faith alone is the strongest religion. I do not need man's church for man is imperfect. All I need is the Word of God to guide me in this life. Perhaps I am wrong, but maybe I am right. Unfortunately only time will tell. So for now I will live my life to the best of my abilities and let God take over the rest.

The Past.....

Remember how it felt when you first discovered your true Christianity? I do. It was such an awesome feeling. You wanted to share it with everyone, you wanted that feeling to be passed along so that all could feel the awe that had taken over your heart.

The picture above reminds me of that time, it also reminds me of one of my favorite Stephen Curtis Chapman songs, The Mountain. It speaks of the faith we can find when life is peaceful and when our faith is not disrupted by the hassles of everyday life.
"My faith is strenghtened by all that I see. You make it easy for me to believe, up on the mountain." But what happens when we come off of this mountain? When the newness and awe is gone or when our faith has been tested in so many ways that you wonder can I ever find that faith again. Well that is where I am at, so begining today I want to find my way back up onto that mountain.

I want to "Draw Near to God" once again and find the way to live my faith even at times when life doesn't allow me to live "Up on the mountain." It is because of this that I have decided to start this blog. I'd like to find others out there who may have answers for my questions, who may also be struggling with their faith and even people who may just be starting out on their path to faith. Hopefully as I find myself again I can help others along the way.

So I hope you enjoy my blog and I hope together with all my readers we can all find a way back up onto that mountain.