Rebuttles.....

So I had a couple of responses from some good friends sent to me by email. I wanted to share them with you all. The first one is from a Pastor that I have a lot of respect for. He really helped me to break down each part of my post and better understand what I was saying only in a more biblical sense since he knows the Bible so well. He does so with great understanding and with humor and I appreciate him doing so. Thank you "Steve" for your insight it was reaffirming and, as I would expect nothing less from you, very well thought out.

The second response if from a very good friend of mine that has known me for almost 30 years. How scary is that? Thank you Joni for taking the time to share with me your beliefs.

It is amazing to get different opinions from two people with totally different lifestyles. Read on and you will see that there are a lot of similarities to their answers.

"Steve" Wrote:

Hello Janet:
I simply copied your post and wrote my comments in red. Hopefully they will be helpful to your soul.

In my world God is a god of forgiveness, a god of understanding. He is in no way a spiteful God. In my world man's rules do not interfere with my understanding of God. I'm not going out and breaking any rules but the religions of today make rules from man's point of view not God's and it confuses me.

My dad called me today. Realize that he is concerned with all that is going on in my life and is trying his best to find a way to help. What he said though just added more confusion to my already out of control world. He told me that God is unable to help me or enter my life [God is never, never, never unable to help] because I have Rosary beads hanging on my Bible [and would never choose not to help just because of your rosary beads. The Bible is a great Book. THE Book in fact: the revealed Word of God; the guide for our faith, Psalm 19.7-10 says:

⁷ The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

⁸ The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.

⁹ The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

And yet, I am reminded of what Jesus said in John 5.39-40 about the Scriptures: He said, ³⁹"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, ⁴⁰yet you refuse to come to me to have life".

The Bible is cool, it's our inerrant guide and help in times of trouble - but it is NOT the OBJECT of our faith, but rather Jesus is. God don't care if you put rosary beads on your Bible.

I was raised Catholic, I raised my children as Catholics, I taught religious education at our church for several years. Eventually I turned away from the Catholic church. For me it was just too depressing of a religion. I want to believe that God wants us to feel His love and not guilt when we turn to Him in prayer and in our daily lives. The Catholic religion didn't offer this to me so I left it.

If you have seen my Facebook page the personal quote I have listed on it is what I believe. It says, "Faith is the strongest religion". Too many religions are based on man's rules not on God's. They have taken the word of God and turned it around to fit their religions or the rules they want their followers to live by. The only word I feel we should be living by is that of the word of God. So I follow my faith, not a religion. I feel it is only through our own faith that we can find the love of God.

I had a pastor once who asked me this question: He said, "Steve", I'm not saying that's my real name, but perhaps it is ;-) , he said, "Steve, how many religions do you think there are in the world?" I thought about it and ventured a guess I'm sure. Maybe I guessed 3000, possibily 5000. I don't remember cuz there were a lot of religions at the time. And I had no idea how many religions there were in the world. But the answer he gave me was so impactful - and true - that I have never forgotten it and have used it in many a sermon and as a foundation for life.

He said, "Steve" (I don't know why he keeps calling me that), "there are only 2 religions in the world: Faith and Works. Every religion is based on either one or the other." He said, "You either have to DO something to make yourself right with God and reach God, or, you have faith that God can reach you." I got to thinking about all the religions that came to mind and sure enough, he was right. And furthermore, Christianity was the only religion that was based on faith rather than works! That just lifted a load of "religious" people off of my back immediately (don't ever call me religious again, 'k?). The Bible says, "There is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2.5). That's how God reached us, through Jesus. Our faith makes the connection complete - not our works. Janet, I luuuuuuuv where you stand on this.

"Faith and Works...Faith and Works...Faith and Works."

So back to my question [yes of course, back to your question], "Is God a spiteful God?" [hm] and I ask this because according to my dad, who is strongly influenced by the Jehovah Witnesses, has told me that my rosary beads are a Pagan symbol and the word of God cannot enter my home as long as I have them hanging on my family Bible [blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah]. Okay so I have two questions about this actually. First of all if you look up the word Pagan it is simply a different form of beliefs. Pagans worship the earth and the moon cycles they are actually a very peaceful religion. Pagans do not believe in God so how would Rosary beads with the Son of God on the crucifix be a Pagan symbol??? I believe the word my father is looking for is Demonic or Satanic. He believes that the Catholic religion, in fact all Christian religions, have been taken over by the Devil, therefore the Rosary beads are in some way now a symbol of the Devil. How in any way, shape or form would this be Pagan? A belief in the worship of Earth, Nature and Moon is not the worship of the Devil [a more gentler blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah]

Although we should "be self controlled because your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5.8; the devil influences people who in turn influence religions, and yes dad's right, it happens in Christianity), both arguments for and against paganism fall apart under the weight of the Faith-Works position noted above. Additionally, as peaceful as "pagans" may be, the worship (and service perhaps) of the sun and moon is the worship of "created things rather than the Creator" (Roman 1.25). This does raise God's ire.

So onto the real reason for this blog [uh-huh]. My father also stated that as long as my Rosary beads remain on my Bible that God will not help me in my struggles with my daughter. So there in lies the question, is our God a spiteful God? [yes, the question] Can I honestly believe that God will not help me because I have what I believe to be a symbol of my Christianity hanging on a Bible? ["Asked and answered, your honor] Okay so for the sake of my dad, lets say he is right [he's not]. My Rosary beads have some how in some way become a Satanic symbol and I have them hanging there because I had no understanding of their new symbolism Is God going to deny me His help, His love and His directions because I unknowingly have this symbol in my home? That is like saying you are going to punish your child for doing something that he or she didn't know was wrong in the first place. Is this who we are to believe our God is. An angry or spiteful God that will punish us for unknowingly doing something wrong? I am sorry but that is NOT my God. My God would understand that in no way, shape or form am I purposefully doing something against Him and He would be forgiving enough to still offer me and my family His strength, His love and His guidance through these difficult times. [Agree wholeheartedly Janet. God has a way of showing us our waywardness - if we are seeking Him - and then guiding us to the right path. This may involve love in the form of "discipline"; but not spite in the form of "punishment", which he does reserve for unbelievers. BUT, playing devil's advocate here (hm...will God punish me for playing devil's advocate? Pray for me.); A more appropriate question would be, "Now that you are aware that it is a Satanic symbol (I'm not saying that it is) what do you do with THAT information? And how do you conduct yourself henceforth?

Maybe I am wrong but I have always believed that God takes us each at face value [He meets us where we are, yes]. He understands our fears, our doubts, the personal struggles we have encountered on our own seperate paths to discovering our Christianity and it is based on what He knows of each of us individually that will lead us to be judged by Him and Him alone and not on what one religion or another religion based on man's laws says [Preach it sister! Should I pass the plate?].

I love my father, I love and respect him more then most people on this earth. He has always been there for me. I can turn to him when things are at their hardest and he always tells me he is there for me, he supports me and he never has strings attached to that love and support. So because of this I will do what he asks. I will remove the Rosary beads from the Bible. Not because I think it is somehow keeping God out of my home but because it is important to my dad [Perhaps you can help him understand it just like that. It's not a bad thing to "honor our father and mother" (Exodus 20)]. It will give him the peace of mind that he needs right now. I only wish that he could once again find the God of love that I know and trust. A truly forgiving God that will be there for you when you need Him regardless of what you may or may not have done in your past, or even what you may unknowingly be doing right now. I pray that somehow my father will once again find a God that should be praised for His love and his glory, not feared because someone here on earth has taken the word of God and twisted it around for their own purpose. Man is an imperfect being and in being so he interprets things only with his understanding not with the understanding of the All Knowing God.

So because of this I say, "Faith alone is the strongest religion." No one on this earth can tell you if your faith is right or wrong. It is something personal between you and God. God will understand your strengths and weaknesses on the day that you stand before Him to be judged. And at least for me and hopefully someday again my father, the God of my Faith is one of Love.

[Wow! That's great. Love is the motivation that moved Him to send Jesus (John 3.16) and love should be the motivation that draws us to Him, in faith, through Christ - not fear.

What does the Bible say,"
¹⁸There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4.18).

Feel free to use any for your blog.

This is the response I got from Joni:

Ok my dear, You know how I feel about religion, And over the years I have sought a relationship with God. I have had the same questions you are having. I have asked, “Are the people around me and those I love being punished for things that I have done that goes against God’s will?” The answer I have received from preachers are that God is not vindictive and he does not work that way. But on the other hand if you read parts of the bible or you listen to others you will see that God does punish those that go against his will. I have yet to find a man of God that I can sit down with and pose these questions. Most preachers/pastors will give you their interpretation of what is written. So I had to look at the things I did know. I know that I believe there is a higher power. I think I know it is God. I have faith that it is God. I also know that God died for my sins and that I am human and I will sin. There is no one on earth who is beyond that. I don’t go out of my way but I am human. But I also ask God to forgive me and to guide me to make better decisions. And when I am mindful of what I am doing I do make better choices. Religion is about faith. I have faith that God will not harm my loved ones because I am an idiot sometimes. Do I still question it? Of course I do. But it keeps me on my toes and helps make me a better person.

With that said,,,,,,,Janet, You are a kind and loving person. You have raised 2 terrific kids. But no matter what you do you have to realize that your children are responsible for their own lives now. They have to live by their decisions. Your job is done and done well. You are giving to the people around you. Look at the neighbor you have helped. Look at how you helped me when I had Bryan and even before that. You do so much good in the world that God will forgive you if you simply ask and have faith in him. If you read the book of Job you will see that God tested Job’s faith by taking away everything he had to see if Job would turn away from him. Job did not. He kept his faith and he was rewarded. God doesn’t make a habit of going around destroying people’s lives to test them. I do think sometimes he gives us obstacles so that we will turn to him. And it usually works.

As far as your dad is concerned. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. Allow him to believe his direction and be greatful that he believes in a higher power. A simple rosary does not keep God away. God will see that you are believing in him. I have heard lots of different religions and I think they all basically do believe a few simple things. There is a higher power, ask for forgiveness and believe. So sister, give yourself a break. Let go of your troubles and give them to God. After all things end with him anyway. I’m not saying not to help Sandy or anyone else. At the end of the day just remember to turn it over to God.

That is probably the most I have ever said about religion but I wanted to share my view because I do fear what I don’t completely understand. But I do get peace from faith….when I remember to use it!

Thank you both VERY MUCH!!!!

God Bless You,

Janet

Is our God really a spiteful God???

In my world God is a god of forgiveness, a god of understanding. He is in no way a spiteful god. In my world man's rules do not interfere with my understanding of God. I'm not going out and breaking any rules but the religions of today make rules from man's point of view not God's and it confuses me.

My dad called me today. Realize that he is concerned with all that is going on in my life and is trying his best to find a way to help. What he said though just added more confusion to my already out of control world. He told me that God is unable to help me or enter my life because I have Rosary beads hanging on my Bible. I was raised Catholic, I raised my children as Catholics, I taught religious education at our church for several years. Eventually I turned away from the Catholic church. For me it was just too depressing of a religion. I want to believe that God wants us to feel His love and not guilt when we turn to Him in prayer and in our daily lives. The Catholic religion didn't offer this to me so I left it.

If you have seen my Facebook page the personal quote I have listed on it is what I believe. It says, "Faith is the strongest religion". Too many religions are based on man's rules not on God's. They have taken the word of God and turned it around to fit their religions or the rules they want their followers to live by. The only word I feel we should be living by is that of the word of God. So I follow my faith, not a religion. I feel it is only through our own faith that we can find the love of God.

So back to my question, "Is God a spiteful God?" and I ask this because according to my dad, who is strongly influenced by the Jehovah Witnesses, has told me that my rosary beads are a Pagan symbol and the word of God cannot enter my home as long as I have them hanging on my family Bible. Okay so I have two questions about this actually. First of all if you look up the word Pagan it is simply a different form of beliefs. Pagans worship the earth and the moon cycles they are actually a very peaceful religion. Pagans do not believe in God so how would Rosary beads with the Son of God on the crucifix be a Pagan symbol??? I believe the word my father is looking for is Demonic or Satanic. He believes that the Catholic religion, in fact all Christian religions, have been taken over by the Devil, therefore the Rosary beads are in some way now a symbol of the Devil. How in any way, shape or form would this be Pagan? A belief in the worship of Earth, Nature and Moon is not the worship of the Devil.

So onto the real reason for this blog. My father also stated that as long as my Rosary beads remain on my Bible that God will not help me in my struggles with my daughter. So there in lies the question, is our God a spiteful God? Can I honestly believe that God will not help me because I have what I believe to be a symbol of my Christianity hanging on a Bible? Okay so for the sake of my dad, lets say he is right. My Rosary beads have some how in some way become a Satanic symbol and I have them hanging there because I had no understanding of their new symbolism. Is God going to deny me His help, His love and His directions because I unknowingly have this symbol in my home? That is like saying you are going to punish your child for doing something that he or she didn't know was wrong in the first place. Is this who we are to believe our God is. An angry or spiteful God that will punish us for unknowingly doing something wrong? I am sorry but that is NOT my God. My God would understand that in no way, shape or form am I purposefully doing something against Him and He would be forgiving enough to still offer me and my family His strength, His love and His guidance through these difficult times.

Maybe I am wrong but I have always believed that God takes us each at face value. He understands our fears, our doubts, the personal struggles we have encountered on our own seperate paths to discovering our Christianity and it is based on what He knows of each of us individually that will lead us to be judged by Him and Him alone and not on what one religion or another religion based on man's laws says.

I love my father, I love and respect him more then most people on this earth. He has always been there for me. I can turn to him when things are at their hardest and he always tells me he is there for me, he supports me and he never has strings attached to that love and support. So because of this I will do what he asks. I will remove the Rosary beads from the Bible. Not because I think it is somehow keeping God out of my home but because it is important to my dad. It will give him the peace of mind that he needs right now. I only wish that he could once again find the God of love that I know and trust. A truly forgiving God that will be there for you when you need Him regardless of what you may or may not have done in your past, or even what you may unknowingly be doing right now. I pray that somehow my father will once again find a God that should be praised for His love and his glory, not feared because someone here on earth has taken the word of God and twisted it around for their own purpose. Man is an imperfect being and in being so he interprets things only with his understanding not with the understanding of the All Knowing God.

So because of this I say, "Faith alone is the strongest religion." No one on this earth can tell you if your faith is right or wrong. It is something personal between you and God. God will understand your strengths and weaknesses on the day that you stand before Him to be judged. And at least for me and hopefully someday again my father, the God of my Faith is one of Love.

Will God Understand????

These last few weeks have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. It is something I have tried to keep to myself but I can't do that anymore.

So a little history on my life recently. We have a neighbor. He is 78 years old, has NO family that will care for him and is suffering from Dementia. Sandy had been his caretaker a few months ago but it did not work out because like all people with Dementia he believes he is fine and doesn't need help.

So jump forward a few months. I come home to find Mr Ping in his front yards with several police. He does not know who he is and they ask me if I know him. I say yes, that my daughter was his caretaker and ask what is wrong.

They explain that he was just found wandering the streets of Vacaville and no one knows who he is. So I explain that he had a stroke two months ago that he has no family to care for him and what I know of the situation. The police ask me if I will come back to the convalescent home he is staying at (luckily they saw a emergency room monitor around his neck and called) and tell his story to the home as they have no information on him.

So I follow the police to the home and we all sit down and talk. The police and the home's manage notice that for the first time Ping is co-operating when I am there and that he trusts me and they ask me if I could please get involved since he will listen to me. I say yes. It is after all how I've been all my life. Always looking out for the underdog, trying to save the world.

So now we will jump ahead a few weeks. Since caring for Ping, taking care of his house while he is in the home, paying his bills for him and just being around him I am learning something. Ping is a millionaire and not just a millionaire but one with a huge heart who wants to help everyone. Unfortunately since he has gotten Dementia a lot of people have come out from under whatever rocks they are living under and have taken advantage of him. He has been writing checks for thousands of dollars to anyone who gives him a sad story.

So I take control of his checkbook and make sure that he is no longer just giving his money away. I know it makes him happy but he needs his money to pay for the home he will have to live in and he can't, like me, save the world.

Well as Ping and I become closer and I do more for him he is constantly saying. I want to pay off your house, or I want to pay off Sandy's car and buy her a home. Or if we are at a store he wants to buy me stuff. But that isn't why I am doing this. I am doing this because he is alone and no one else will. I keep trying to convince him that he needs to save his money for him. I am fine, actually I am not fine financially. I am disabled so I can no longer work, the state disability is still trying to decide if I qualify for SSI, my husband has just found out that his job is in jeapordy and that even if he keeps it there will be a large cut in pay. He is now the sole support of our family and every cent he makes goes towards the bills. We lived too long with two paychecks and always thought we would so we made some mistakes that are catching up to us now.

So here I sit, caring for an elderly millionaire who everyday offers to help us out and I continue to say no. I am taking no payment for all that I am doing for him. He has become dependent on me and needs to see me seven days a week sometimes several times a day or he panics and escapes the home he is at to try and walk to me. Then the police are called in and he is taken back and told to stay. It is getting harder and harder to convince him to stay and since he has not been declared incompetent yet, the hearing hasn't happened, no one can actually force him to do anything. All we can do is ask that he return and so far he has with a lot of convincing from me.

Well yesterday I had a three hour meeting with the state social worker and the head of the home where he is staying. You see Pings sister in China has power of attorney over him. However since she does not live in the United States it is not recognized. So there is no one to make decisions for him. I have talked several times to his sister and begged her to at least get involved but she refuses. Also he has a nephew, a brain surgeon, at Stanford Teaching Hospital who is close but refuses to get involved, a brother in Sacramento and a brother in Berkley. None of which want to help. So the state will declare him incompetent and he will become a ward of the state and lose his home, his car, his money, all that he has worked for.

He cries on me daily, asking me why the United States is holding him prisioner. He begs me to get him on a plane to Hong Kong where he will be free again. But I can't do that. In fact I can't do this anymore. Helping him is slowly eatting away at me. At my health and at my heart. It is making me question my decisions and is constantly putting me at odds with my beliefs in God and what is right and what the devil would have me do.

How easy it would be to take the financial offering from Ping. To let him pay off our bills or our home like he offers daily. But that is sooo wrong. Yet just this morning my son tells me, maybe this is God sending you help. Why don't you just take it. NO!!! I can not in my heart beleive that is the right thing to do. And because the stress of this situation is taking such a toll on my health I am going to have to walk away from this man who trusts me so much.

I am having the episodes that put me in the hospital in November again. I am exhausted, my family never sees me and nothing is getting done but stuff for Ping. I love the mental challenges it gives me, I love feeling useful again, but I can't take the stress and the temptation anymore. Is that wrong? Will God understand if I have to walk away? Where do I put my family and my health in all of this? If I continued to help, next week I would have so much to do that it would be nearly impossible for me. Get someone to clean his home, he is having a business associate fly out for a few days and stay at his home and the home is filthy. Get Ping his weekly groceries plus get groceries for his guest. Get someone out to fix the leak he has in his main water pipe in the front of his house. Take Ping to buy a computer because his died and he needs one to finish his book. Get ATT hooked up at his room in the home so he has phones and internet. Get a bed and linens for the houseguest. Pick up his friend at the airport. Get his weekly bills paid. Get his taxes taken care of. Take him to buy some new shoes since he has worn out the soles on his and his feet are getting wet. Figure out a way to get him to allow them to check his blood sugar levels and give him his insulin because he is refusing. Get him to his doctor appointments and try to keep him calm enough during all this so that his blood pressure doesn't go too high and he has another stroke. Then after all that I need to take care of my home, my husband and my health. I just can't do it, physically, not to mention mentally it is impossible.

So what do I do? I don't know. I know I am taking four days away from the situation to think clearly about what it is I need to do. I need to ask God for guidance and get my head clear again. I don't want to live with the temptation of accepting something from this man that is wrong but I don't want to abandon him at his greatest time of need. Yet his family sits by and does nothing but waits for him to pass on and they will come with their hands out wanting the money. How wrong is that? How wrong is all of this, that a man who has family is left alone and afraid in his old age.

So if you are out there, say a prayer for me. Ask God to guide me in the right direction. Right now I just don't know which way that is.

In the Begining.......

I tell you the truth,

anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child

will never enter it.

Luke 18:17

The above passage has always been dear to me. I taught Sunday school for five years it was during these years that I felt closest to God. I taught second grade and what an incredible age that is. My students were like little sponges eager to absorb the word of God. There was no doubt in them. All that they learned was readily accepted. Ahh to have the faith of a child. No questions, no doubts, just to believe simply because it is told to you. Every Sunday their faces would light up as they learned more and more about the word of God. It is something I will never forget and it is something I will always wish I had experienced as a child.

Unfortunately there wasn't a lot said about God in my home growing up. My sister and I knew about God, we were supposively Catholics but church wasn't something my parents attended. Yes we had crucifixes and we even said The Lord's Prayer every evening right before bed but I knew nothing of this God or of His church. However, I am the lucky one, as I grew older I met several friends whose belief in God was very important in their lives and slowly I began to learn from them about faith. Unfortunately my sister did just the opposite and never did find a belief in God.

I attended several different churches during my junior high years. Some I enjoyed, some were just way too out there for me. I just couldn't seem to find where I belonged. Finally my neighbor saw that I was looking to find my place in God's world and asked me to attend our local Catholic church with her. Something just clicked. I liked the traditions that were associated with this religion. I found that I could relate more to a priest in robes then to a pastor in a business suit. I think a lot of it had to do with my family being Catholic for so many generations but I felt as if I belonged there so it is there that I stayed for many years.

It has been years since I have been to church, I'm not even sure how long, probably about 15 years. Too many negatives and hurt feelings have kept me from returning to the Catholic church. I believe worshiping God should be a joyous occasion not one filled with guilt. It is funny I watch the "Catholics Come Home" commercials and I can easily understand why it is the Catholic church is struggling. If you click on the Catholics Come Home link above you can watch what the Catholic church believes is an invitation back, however all I see when I watch it is a lot of guilt being thrust down upon Catholics. Who wants to live with that kind of guilt? Not me and it's definitely not something I can see myself returning to.

So where does this leave me? Several people have told me that I am not a Christian because I do not attend church. Is that true or is our faith what we make of it? I believe that faith alone is the strongest religion. I do not need man's church for man is imperfect. All I need is the Word of God to guide me in this life. Perhaps I am wrong, but maybe I am right. Unfortunately only time will tell. So for now I will live my life to the best of my abilities and let God take over the rest.

The Past.....

Remember how it felt when you first discovered your true Christianity? I do. It was such an awesome feeling. You wanted to share it with everyone, you wanted that feeling to be passed along so that all could feel the awe that had taken over your heart.

The picture above reminds me of that time, it also reminds me of one of my favorite Stephen Curtis Chapman songs, The Mountain. It speaks of the faith we can find when life is peaceful and when our faith is not disrupted by the hassles of everyday life.
"My faith is strenghtened by all that I see. You make it easy for me to believe, up on the mountain." But what happens when we come off of this mountain? When the newness and awe is gone or when our faith has been tested in so many ways that you wonder can I ever find that faith again. Well that is where I am at, so begining today I want to find my way back up onto that mountain.

I want to "Draw Near to God" once again and find the way to live my faith even at times when life doesn't allow me to live "Up on the mountain." It is because of this that I have decided to start this blog. I'd like to find others out there who may have answers for my questions, who may also be struggling with their faith and even people who may just be starting out on their path to faith. Hopefully as I find myself again I can help others along the way.

So I hope you enjoy my blog and I hope together with all my readers we can all find a way back up onto that mountain.